


Thank You, I Love You, and Goodbye

by Peanut_Butter_writes



Category: Between Heaven and Earth - Eric Walters, Seven (the series)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 12:17:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18343529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peanut_Butter_writes/pseuds/Peanut_Butter_writes
Summary: DJ writes a letter to his Grandpa, saying everything he never got to.





	Thank You, I Love You, and Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> So I wrote this in like, 7th grade I think? And it has not been seen since until today.

I stood alone in the middle of a forest. 

It had been a month since my adventure climbing Mount Kilimanjaro to spread my grandfather’s remains between heaven and earth. This solo camping trip felt just as important to me as that had been. It would be a two-day trip, one night, worthless, really, to anyone but me. I had a self-assigned quest, one final tribute to give to the most caring man in the world. 

The germ of an idea had been floating around in my head even before my expedition to Tanzania. For a while, I had been content with hiking Mount Kili, but that was different. That was something I could do for Grandpa that he asked me to do. This was something I had elected to do by myself. 

The sun was starting to set, so I set about organizing a fire with wood I’d collected earlier. I lined my fire pit with rocks, lit a match, and threw it into the kindling I’d set up. Some time later, I had a blazing fire going. 

I pulled out one of those dandelion-coloured envelopes that you always see around post offices and stuff, but never actually find use for. The content of that envelope had cost me a fortune in time and was every bit as hard as my trek up to the highest point in Africa, but it was worth it. 

I was about to do what I had come here to do, when I paused. Something had stopped me. Maybe it was my unconscious wanting to prolong this last moment with Grandpa. Maybe it was just me procrastinating. It must have been, because without planning on it or even thinking about what I was doing, I pulled out a normal white envelope with the word _Grandpa_ written on it. From that envelope I pulled out my final letter. 

I must have wanted to do this, read my letter one last time, because I hadn’t sealed either envelope. I looked inside it. Nothing more with the letter in it, just like I’d planned. As if following some unspoken command, I opened the letter and began to read it to myself.

_Dear Grandpa,_

_When I spread your ashes at Uhuru Point, for the first time, I think, I truly realized that you weren’t really gone. I don’t plan to burn letters up to you wherever you are after this, but I thought that this was important to do once and once only. You’ve given me your last words to me; now it’s my turn to give you my last words to you._

_I had been thinking about what I should say for a long time before I started writing this. For the longest time, I didn’t know what to say. It would be easy if I was speaking to someone younger than me, but it feels strange to be saying something to someone older. If I was speaking to someone younger than me, I could give them advice, but I’m not. I’m trying to choose the best way to say what I wish I did when I had limitless time with you, but there’s so much. It’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack. No, it’s like trying to find a needle in a pile of needles. I might say, as I’m writing this, that I’m procrastinating, but I like to think that I’m pouring my heart out, and that you will enjoy reading my words._

_I would describe my journey up Mount Kilimanjaro to you, but you already know, because you were with me. Thank you for sending me on that incredible journey. I made new friends along the way and had fun. Well, sort of fun. The going-to-the-bathroom-every-thirty-seconds part wasn’t fun and the freezing-my-toes-off part wasn’t fun, but other than that there was nothing I would trade the experience for._

_Maybe that’s what I want to say: thank you. But it’s so small and insubstantial for everything that’s swirling inside me. It’s something you say when someone passes you the salt or lets you borrow a pencil. But, really, there are two kinds of "thank you"s. That kind of thank you is the everyday kind, the casual kind. What I mean is the big kind, the kind where thank you because it is the sun that all the other things I want to say to you orbit around. It’s the thank you that you say because it’s what you get when you strip away all the extra words and find what all the messages have in common. It’s the thank you you say to an incredible grandpa who gave you an incredible life._

_Another thing I think I’d like you to know is that I love you. There’s only one type of I love you, but this one has all my sorrow, all my longing, and all my (quite simply) love behind it. As I write this, I imagine you seeing me sad, walking over, hugging me, shushing and comforting me. All that gratefulness, blossoming calm, and wanting to prolong the embrace is inside me as I write this._

_I don’t want to say this. I want you to still be alive. But you are. You are alive in me, and in Steve, and Spencer, and Bunny, and Webb, and Adam, and Rennie. I’m ready now, I think. What I wanted to say is thank you, I love you, and good bye._

_With a lightened heart,_

_DJ_

As I read the last of the letter, I instinctively slowed down. I had tears in my eyes. Had I really wrote that? It was beautiful. 

I had second thoughts about my whole plan. It was too beautiful to burn. Then I remembered that I had already thought of that. I’d photocopied my letter and taken the copy to my safe deposit box at the bank. 

I slid the letter back inside the white envelope and sealed it. I put the white envelop in the yellow envelope and sealed that. I looked at the fire, then the envelope which contained an envelope which contained my letter to Grandpa. I took a deep breath.

I threw the envelope into the blazing fire.

I watched it slowly burn, and tears formed in my eyes. At first I tried to hold them in, but then I let them fall. Grandpa deserved them.

I felt better, like I would always feel whenever Grandpa smiled at me. I could feel his smile on me now, like steeping into bright sunshine. As I stood there I realize one thing: I would never be alone.

Grandpa would be with me.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks!


End file.
